|Deviant Login||Shop||Join deviantART for FREE||Take the Tour|
inner wishEvery moment.....
I wish I wasn't like this
I wish I was healthy
I wish I could take this pain away
I wish I could be smart
I wish I could be happy
I wish I had imagination
I wish I could just be accepted
I wish I could find my other half
Then I realize that's reality
Then I wished I would just die
And have all my wishes come true
Teenage TaoismGiving birth is the closest I’d ever felt to dying.
Before that, my near death experiences had consisted only of my silent announcement of pregnancy—silent, being that my social media accounts were all deleted almost simultaneously and I never returned to school in the fall, saying without really saying that I had caught the malicious disease of “teenage pregnancy”. I’m sure the whisper spread in the hallways like the Bubonic Plague. That September, sitting at home on what would have been the first day of my senior year, I imagined friends I’d never talk to again saying “she was only seventeen, and so full of life!” at my absence in the cafeteria tables, as if they were attending my funeral instead of talking about me behind my back.
"Full of life," I had snorted then, folding a never ending stream of what had once been my own baby clothes. "Literally."
I walked around like a zombie for the months of my pregnancy, deciding t
Keep in Touch!